Sunday 29 April 2012

Purified Air



ACME CORPORATION INCORPORATED INC. THE 
CREATORS 
BEHIND 'THE OPENING OF AN ENVELOPE' INVITE YOU TO 
THE UK PRODUCT LAUNCH PARTY OF ACME’S ‘PURIFIED FRESH AIR’.
 THIS IS AN EXCLUSIVE VIP RED CARPET EVENT. OUR NEW BRAND OF 
LUXURY AIR CAPTURES THE FRESHEST AIR AVAILABLE, AND NOW IT 
IS YOURS TO KEEP.  FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY THIS BRAND WILL ALSO 
BE AVAILABLE IN A DOUBLE EXCLUSIVE, EXCLUSIVELY LIMITED-EDITION, 
LOUIS VUITTON SIGNATURE AIR THAT IS SO CLEAR THE EMBOSSED LOGO 
WILL BE INVISIBLE TO THE NAKED EYE BUT WE 
CAN ASSURE YOU IF WE 
SAY IT’S LOUIS VUITTON IT IS, AND YOU’RE PROBABLY TOO STUP.... 
GUILLI.... EMBARR....POLITE TO QUESTION OUR MOTIVES.

THERE WILL BE AN OPEN BAR, AND ANOTHER EXCLUSIVE YOU GET TO 
TAKE HOME GOODY BAGS FILLED WITH EXCLUSIVE HOT AIR DESIGNED EXCLUSIVELY BY KANYE WEST.
SAMPLE THE AIR AROUND YOU IN OUR SECLUDED 
BOOTHS, AND BREATHE IN AN ATMOSPHERE 
UNLIKE NO OTHER.

FUTURE PRODUCT LAUNCHES TO BE HELD IN NEW YORK, TOKYO, 
AND HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA.  THE PURITY OF 
THE AIR MAY NOT BE 100% GUARANTEED. AIR QUALITY 
WILL POSSIBLY DROP TO 40%, AND THE 
OTHER 60% WILL BE PADDED OUT WITH POLLEN, 
ASH AND METHANE.

A PRODUCT THAT WILL LAST YOU A LIFETIME OR 
UNTIL YOUR DEATH. 


VENUE

GLAM-A-RAM A DING DONG MEMBERS CLUB
WARDOUR STREET
SOHO
LONDON W1
JUNE 23RD 10PM - 2AM

Saturday 7 April 2012

Meow


The scene:
A quiet night in a tree lined suburb.
In a kitchen a young man wearing a t-shirt and boxers feeds his cat. 

Cut to

A house five doors away.  A middle-aged man in stripy pyjamas and 
matching stripy nightcap is also feeding his cat.  

MIDDLE-AGED MAN:
(picks up cat and strokes her) Come here Ava. There’s a good girl. 
Night Night.

Cut back to 

YOUNGER MAN:
(picks up cat tickling her chin) There’s a good girl eh. 

Simultaneously both men open the door to let out their cats. 

It is pitch black.  

MIDDLE-AGED MAN:
(to his departing cat) Meow. Meow.

YOUNGER MAN:
(starts to close the door but stops when he hears what he thinks is his cat)   Meow 


MIDDLE AGED MAN:
 (he also responds to the meow) Meow meow Meow

YOUNGER MAN:
(quite loudly) Meow Meow Meow

MIDDLE AGED MAN:
(very loudly) MEEOOOOOOWWW MEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWW

YOUNGER MAN:
Meooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww

DISGRUNTLED NEIGHBOUR'S VOICE: 
Shutttt up.  (to his wife) Those bloody cats it’s the same every night.

WIFE:
Oh leave it Harold you’ll wake the neighbours.